Of Bets and Broom Closets
by Andrianna Litewing
Summary: Written with Cassandra Nitewing, AU, highschool-ish. So, what would make Uchiha Sasuke, ice cube of the century, horny? Well, Sakura's going to find out, unfortunately...with a bet. Idiot. Sasusaku, other pairings inside.
1. You'd think they'd learn by now

_**Hello! None of you know me, of course, but you may know Cassandra Nightingale, who co-wrote this with me. I blatantly proclaimed that I would never actually write something one this website, but the opportunity was too tempting. Theme: What exactly would make Uchiha Sasuke, ice cube of the century, horny?**_

_**So, yeah, it's rated M for mature content, because obviously Haruno Sakura is going to find out…with a bet. Idiot.**_

**CASSY'S NOTE: Hola, peoples! I know this is kind of stupid and crap, and I almost NEVER write M rated stuff, etc., but Andy insisted I work on my writing and 'broaden my horizons'. Supposedly, this is going to be an example of how a **_**real**_** story should look like, but then I started to get an idea of how it should start and…yeah. So now I'm in on it. Ugh. And I'm still wondering why I'm doing this. Um…**

_**PAIRINGS:**__** Sasusaku, Nejiten, Shikatema and Kibaino, Sasukarin, Suikarin, and possibly more.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** As we all know, I am Masashi Kishimoto. When I am not desperately trying to stay ahead of the deadline for new Naruto chapters every week, I come to and laugh at what crazy fans can make up these days. That is all.**_

…_**I need to stop reading Artsysmiles's author's notes. Really, 'That is all'? That's HER catchline, not MINE. Urk.**_

_**Mmmfff…just read the stupid story. Hope you enjoy!!**_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

_**You'd think they'd learn by now…**_

"YOU'RE serious?"

"Of course we are, Forehead! It _is_ a slumber party."

"Yeah! We've done the movies, the gushing, and all the other things we need to do at a sleepover!"

"S-Sakura-chan, T-Truth or D-Dare isn't _that_ b-bad…"

"Suck it up, Sakura. Jeez."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at her friends. When Ino-pig said they were having a slumber party to get reconnected to each other again, she didn't sign up for a stupid game of _Truth or Dare._ It was idiotic and totally immature. Fifteen-year olds did _not _play _Truth or Dare,_ dammit!

Sakura huffed, but slumped over in a defeated position. "Fine," she said, but snapped, "but I get to go first!"

Ino smiled, happy that she won. "Fine, Forehead."

She turned to Hinata. "Truth or Dare?"

Hinata blushed and looked the other way before answering, as was habit. "T-Truth."

Temari cut in before Sakura asked the question. "Don't ask who she likes, since that is _such_ a waste of a question." Hinata blushed even more at that. Everybody knew she had a crush on Uzumaki Naruto, son of the mayor, Minato Kamikaze, and was voted the number one hyperactive knuckle-headed student of the year three years running. Everybody knew about the Hyuuga corporate heiress's infatuation—except Naruto.

Sakura glared at Temari. "I wasn't going to. Hinata," she turned to the blushing girl, "have you ever had a crush on someone else _before_ Naruto?" The others perked up at this; as long as they had known Hinata, she had been smitten for Naruto.

She blushed even more at that, but thought about it. "I-I…I think I had a c-crush on K-Kiba…at one time…"

Ino gaped at her. "I knew it! I _knew_ there was a reason you were making cow eyes at my boyfriend!"

"I-It was when I was s-six!!" Hinata sighed quietly, and turned to Tenten.

"T-Truth or D-Dare?"

She smirked. "Dare, of course."

She thought about that. She had assumed that Tenten would choose truth, but didn't know what to do when she chose dare. Suddenly, Hinata remembered her dear cousin, whom Tenten hated with a passion.

"I-I dare you t-to t-tell Neji-nii-san that you have a crush on him tomorrow."

Tenten choked on a mouthful of air. "WHAT!?"

She shrugged. "T-Tomorrow. All of u-us have to b-be there, a-as witnesses."

Tenten gave her the death glare, but proceeded to talk to Temari. "Truth or Dare?"

She thought for a moment. "Truth, I guess. I have nothing to hide."

"You date Shikamaru, so…how _abusive_ is your relationship with him?"

Temari gaped at her. "Shika doesn't _hit_ me!"

"I wasn't talking about him hitting _you_, I was talking about you hitting _him_!"

Temari thought about that. "Oh. Well, I guess I only hit him when he falls asleep."

Tenten nodded. "Abusive relationship, then."

Temari scowled at her. "Oh, go and practice your lines for when you confess your undying love to Neji." She turned to Ino.

"Truth or dare?"

Ino thought about it. "Truth."

"Have you ever liked my boyfriend?" Ino and Shikamaru were childhood friends, and she didn't really like Temari in the beginning. Temari always claimed it was the little green monster.

Ino looked outraged. "Of course not! I don't even know how you like him; he is such a lazy ass, _and_ a bad kisser!" Realizing what she said, Ino turned a strange shade of red and started chocking on her spit. Temari looked at her with her mouth hung open, while the other three girls burst into laughter.

"He's a bad kisser, you say? And how would _you _know?" Temari raised a delicate blonde eyebrow, her face expressionless. Ino gagged a little.

"It was an accident, I swear! I needed Shika for something, and he wouldn't wake up, and—Temari, I was eight freaking years old! Don't judge me!"

Temari put down the lamp she was about to use as a weapon. "Whatever."

Ino turned to Sakura. "Truth or dare?"

She shrugged a little. She didn't really want to be interrogated, which she _knew_ Ino would do, and since Ino_ was _her best friend of all time—

"Dare, I suppose."

Ino smiled, an evil smile that made Sakura cringe and wonder what in the world possessed her in those few seconds to say such an evil, evil thing.

You could _hear_ the wheels turning in her head. "Don't you sit, like, _right_ behind Sasuke in Calculus?"

Sakura gulped and nodded. Ino's smirk grew wider.

"I dare you to stick your hand down his pants."

Sakura promptly attacked Ino, with her other two friends busting their guts laughing in the background, while the other two fought.

"WHAT. THE. HELL."

Ino was laughing, too. "Calm down, Forehead!"

"CALM DOWN. YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN, WHEN I HAVE TO _GROPE_ UCHIHA SASUKE TOMORROW DURING CALCULUS!?!" She _knew_ this was a bad idea.

Tenten smiled. "I'll pay you one hundred dollars to do that. I'm in your Calculus class, and I would _love_ to see the look on his face!" She laughed maniacally.

"No way."

Hinata butted in. "I'll pay you two hundred—along with T-Tenten's money."

Temari smirked. "I'll pay fifty dollars. I'd give you more, but Dad's not letting me have my allowance."

Ino got up from the ground. "I'll throw in a hundred, too, if Tenten gets a picture."

Tenten smirked. "Got it!"

Sakura moaned. "Then _I_ am gonna take a good picture of Neji and you when you confess your undying love to him!"

Tenten made another one of her odd choking noises, and shut up. Sakura laughed.

"Okay, okay, I'll do it. But you guys better make sure no one _else_ sees it—my reputation is as tarnished as it is with the whole Kakashi Incident. I don't need to be labeled as a _whore._"

Ino giggled. "Whatever you say, Forehead-chan."

"Now, can we go to _sleep_ already? I'm kinda tired…"

Temari looked scandalized. "You should _know_ by now that people don't actually _sleep_ at sleepovers!"

Sakura moaned.

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

**_A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot. But after about thirty pages, Cassy and I both decided it needed to be multi-chapter. We broke the chapters up into really small parts, so I'm sorry for that. But yeah. We've already got, like, ten chapters done already, so expect some frequent updates. And stuff._**


	2. Groping is Harder than it Sounds

_**A/N: From which when the second chapter appeared out of the darkness, and it was called 'Chapter 2'…yeah. I need to stop listening to that evil, evil book…What was it called again?**_

**Cassy: DON'T HARRASS THE BIBLE!**

_**Really? That's what it's called? Sounds devious…anyway. The first chapter was mostly written by Cassy, who happens to be able to write dialogue better than the average human. But she refused to do this chapter, as to which I was designated its responsibility. And crap. So, like, this is mostly me.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** Masashi Kishimoto has gone on a vacation to Hawaii, and for some reason has mysteriously disappeared -coughs-. I happen to be in his will (or so the translators say), so yes, I do, in fact, own Naruto. Or at least until Kishimoto pulls a James Bond and busts out of that island high security prison—YOU HEARD NOTHING!**_

* * *

_**Groping is harder than it sounds**_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

SAKURA was nervous.

Okay, she was more than nervous. It was more like she was going to pee her pants if someone, say, talked to her. Her hands were twitching. Her legs were shaking, and she felt like her knees would no longer support her, even though she was sitting in her seat in Calculus, waiting for the teacher to come in and start class already.

Basically, not Haruno Sakura in her best form.

Tenten, sitting in the row across from her, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Calm down before you get a heart attack. Or Turret's. You can't win the bet and rake in the cash if you have to go to the hospital."

Her words didn't really help calm Sakura down—especially since the brunette had her digital camera at hand. Seeing where Sakura was staring, Tenten laughed a little. "Don't worry; this isn't going on the net. Hinata is going to use it on video mode to tape my…'confession'." She grimaced at the thought of telling the cold-hearted Hyuuga cousin that she had an undying crush on him. Thinking about that, Sakura calmed down the tiniest of bits, only to start hyperventilating again when she saw who came in the room.

She wasn't the only one who reacted to the arrival. All the female students immediately perked up and shot sultry looks in his direction, while most of the men got a lot moodier, muttering swear words under their breath.

Uchiha Sasuke. The god of the school, best friend of the mayor's kid, captain of the football team and the basketball team, heir to the business tycoon his father started, and the object of affection for every girl in the entire school not bound by wedlock. (We're including teachers. And a few males, as well, of course.)

The man she was deemed to grope in a few minutes. For about five hundred dollars.

_Forget the Kakashi incident,_ she thought; feeling lower and lower with each word that rang in her head, _I'll be a REAL whore after this!_

Sakura laid her head on the desk in front of her and groaned. She didn't really know how she was going to do this. She couldn't just ask him, 'Hey, can you let me grope you? I'll give you half of what I get for it!'. He had more dignity than that. And he had more money than Kami should ever allow, so she couldn't bribe him. If she did it on the sly, she'd be named the official school whore, and Sasuke would probably get a restraining order against her.

Even though she _knew_ she would never, ever have a chance with someone like Uchiha Sasuke, it still made her heart hurt to think about him never wanting to be near her again. They had been friendly acquaintances for a while now, and the only reason why he hadn't told her to fuck off yet was because she didn't openly fangirl him like other students in school. She burrowed her face further into her arms, feeling like crying.

"What's going on with you, Haruno?" She felt a finger poke her scalp. Looking up, she saw a pair of dark and distant eyes trained on her, and her heart leapt to her throat. She could feel her expression change to confusion, and Sasuke frowned.

"You usually don't put your head down, Haruno. I just want to know if whatever you have is contagious."

If she wasn't used to rebuttals like this, she probably would have fainted. Or at least deadpanned. But she was, so all that happened was a single sentence issuing from her lips. "I'm not contagious, don't worry about it." Then, deciding upon, humor, she added, "Well, it _is_ communicable, but we'd have to get to know each other more for you to even see it."

Sasuke coughed, looking uncomfortable. He never really blushed, actually—sort of the opposite effect happened to him when he was embarrassed. He'd get very pale, and his lips would go white. She giggled. "Don't worry, I was joking."

Then a thought came to her—maybe that could be his reaction when the deed was done. Not anger or disgust, just…embarrassment. Like it was all a horrifying accident.

_An accident…yes…_The more she thought about it, the better it sounded. Of course, there would be the rumors that she did it on purpose, but as long as Sasuke and her immediate friends didn't believe so, that was okay. Rumors died down.

So, when Kakashi-sensei entered the room and started the rather boring lesson about something she had already learned, Sakura started to plan. Halfway through the class, she had a general idea of what she would do. She glanced at Tenten just as Kakashi started to write down that night's homework and tapped her pencil on the desk three times, signaling the brunette to get out the damned camera—she wanted this to be quick.

Sakura frowned and furrowed her brow, leaning left and right. "I can't see the board," she muttered, leaning more wildly and at a faster pace. Finally, as if giving up that idea, she rose up and leaned over her desk, grabbing Sasuke's shoulder for support. "Sorry," she muttered, pretending to squint. She leaned over him, trying to get closer to the board. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sasuke looked disgruntled, but not angry, muttering something about glasses. Apparently, he had more tolerance for her than she had initially thought.

Leaning a little more, she let her hand slip off his shoulder, her body falling down almost comically over him, her legs flailing a little. With a little well-aimed precision, the hand on his shoulder ended up jammed down the front of his pants. She could feel him stiffen and pale, but waited to hear the CLICK of the camera for proof. When she finally did (it seemed to take _forever, _didn't she warn Tenten it was happening?), Sakura leapt off of him like he was on fire, blushing furiously. Squeaking out a quick 'Sorry!' she raced out of the classroom and into the girl's bathroom.

Breathing a sigh of relief as she closed the stall door, she sank to the top of the toilet, leaving the seat down. _Thank Kami that's over…_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

**A/N: So, this is Cassy. (Don't listen to the idiot up on top who calls herself 'Andy'—I SO TOTALLY HELPED MAKE THIS CHAPTER!) And, um, reviews? Please? We don't like updating if people don't show their loving appreciation…**


	3. Watch the Birdie

_**A/N: WE ARE UPDATING THIS FAST BECAUSE WE WANT TO, NOT BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE LIVES. OKAY? SHUT UP ALREADY.**_

_**Ahem. Anyway, Next chapter: Tenten's dare! Because, you know, we couldn't leave her out and stuff. Oh, and Cassy sorta-kinda helped on this one. Because, you know, this is also her story.**_

**Cassy: Hello again! I would like to point out that yes I AM WORKING ON MY STORIES, PLEASE STOP NAGGING ME. This is just sort of…relief exercising. If you know what I mean. I can't take the stress all the time. Plus, I sort of had a meltdown last night (seriously? Don't ask. Ever. It never happened.), so everyone's sort of acting weird around me in the house (except for little sister/bitch of hell, who happened to be sulking in her room at the time of said meltdown.). But yes—next chapter!**

_**Disclaimer:**__** Own NARUTO? I don't even own any COMIC BOOKS of Naruto. (Speaking of which {MANGA SPOILER AHEAD}, WHAT THE HELL IS KISHIMOTO **_**DOING?!!!**_** I MEAN, COME ON! **_**KAKASHI??!!!**_** KISHIMOTO IS GOING TO DIE, BABY! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!)**_

* * *

_**Watch the Birdie—it might ask you on a date**_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

TENTEN glared at them all.

Obviously, she had been some sort of evil mastermind in her past life, to be given a punishment like this. She had thought that it would be bearable because Sakura had to endure an even worse fate (_misery likes company)_, but she had somehow used her wits to get out of it with barely a scratch. Though it was funny to take a picture of the ordeal and to see the expression on the Uchiha's face for the remaining time in class, she was still mad at her.

At least she got _paid_ to do that stunt. Tenten? Not a single cent. And now _she_ had to pay six month's allowance worth of money to Sakura, the snot. And she has to tell the biggest jerk in school that she has been in love with him since forever.

"C'mon, Tenten, get it over with. I need some new shoes, and since Sakura one her bet, I'm broke." Temari held up Hinata's video cam. "This is gonna be gold."

Tenten sighed. "I feel like banging my head against a wall right now. Why am I doing this again?"

"Because _I_ did my bet, and if you don't do yours, I'll hurt you during gym class," said Sakura offhandedly, munching on a sandwich.

Tenten sighed and got up from the lunch table, making her way to Neji's table. The Hyuuga always sat at the back corner of the cafeteria with his friends, as if to avoid any attention from the rest of the school. It never worked; the table that always occupied Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba, Uchiha Sasuke, and Uzumaki Naruto was often flocked by flirting girls and football jocks asking for tips. Tenten had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying. Of course her friends would pick _this_ time to make her confess her love for Neji. It was full of witnesses!

Making her way to the table through a crowd of jittery cheerleaders, Tenten made a stop in front of the rather large table with Neji staring at her like she had just grown another head. All the boys at the table turned their attention from whoever they were talking to, to the brunette, who was looking rather uncomfortable. Neji narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Tenten would have been insulted if the paranoia towards her wasn't deserved, but it was. Ever since they were children, they had never gotten along. Tenten was one of those people who threw an egg at the face of authority, and Neji was the most authority-driven person Tenten had ever met, making him an unholy temptation. He had been subject to more pranks and hoaxes and jokes than Tenten can even count, and he had made sure to make her life as miserable as he can in return. It wasn't a pretty agreement, but it was one they both worked with. Now, this stupid dare was going to totally ruin it. She was never going to look him in the face again.

"Neji," she said, forcing out a smile, "I need to speak with you. In _private."_ She looked pointedly at his friends and his audience, who were listening intently. Even Sasuke looked vaguely interested (his face was still very pale, Tenten saw, showing just how embarrassed he was over the Calculus incident).

Neji coolly raised an eyebrow, throwing the challenge onto the table. "Tenten, whatever you could possibly want to say to me, you can say in front of our peers." Tenten mentally cursed their history with each other—he would have given them privacy if he didn't think she was going to pants him or something.

So she just got it over with. "Neji, I sortakindalikeyouIhaveforalongtime," she said, looking away when she felt her face turn red from the anger of this situation.

Neji blinked. "What did you say?"

"If you didn't hear it the first time, then it's not worth mentioning."

"Did you just say you have…affections for me?"

Tenten _really_ wanted to hit something. "…Maybe. That's it, though. Bye!" With that, she ran in the other direction, towards her laughing friends.

She glared at them. "I hate you all."

"That's okay," Ino laughed, "I got it _on tape!_" She waved the little memory chip in her face, doing a little dance.

Tenten was about to hit her and walk away to get her stuff for her next class when a voice made her stop cold. "Tenten-san."

She turned around to see Hyuuga Neji staring at her with an odd expression on his face. He looked almost…uncomfortable. This was a huge feat for a man with such a stoic expression; people have thought that it was simply a mask.

Quickly, as if he was regretting saying it even as he was opening his mouth, Neji said, "There is a restaurant at the end of town, right across the road from the mall. Meet me there at eight on Friday."

Tenten gaped at him. "Did you just ask me out?"

If possible, Neji looked even more uncomfortable. "Yes. Don't be late." With that he stalked off.

As soon as he left, all of Tenten's friends proceeded to howl with laughter. "Oh…My…_God._" Ino didn't look like she could stand up much longer. "He must think you're delusional and is taking pity on you. Your reputation is _ruined._"

Sakura was already on the ground. "Pig's right…-laughter-…you can't just walk away…-wheezing-…from Hyuuga Neji _asking you out on a date over a dare!"_ She couldn't say any more, as hysterical laughter took up most of her breathing space.

"Says the instigator of the Kakashi incident and the girl who just groped Uchiha Sasuke today for four hundred and fifty dollars," Tenten grumbled, shuffling to another foot. "I'll have to tell him the story—he can just cancel the date and we can all pretend this never happened—"

_"NO!!"_ The four other girls said in unison. "You can't do that! What if something slips and Neji finds out about the groping incident?" Sakura looked mortified.

Temari soothed her. "Go on _one_ date with him. Then you can say you're placated, and that he doesn't have to humor you anymore. Then you can go back to life as before. You don't need to drag the rest of us down with you."

Tenten sighed. "Whatever. But I'm getting paid too, for this!"

Hinata looked at her like she was stupid. "T-Tenten, my c-cousin, _a Hyuuga,_ is asking you out on a d-date. If something happens that m-makes the date end up b-badly, he'll pay for any expenses. You don't n-need money when you're dating _Neji._"

"I'M NOT DATING HIM!"

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

**A/N: So, this has officially become my spot. (Why? Because this is technically Andy's idea and what she says, goes.) So...what do you think? We still have a few pre-made chaps left, so I'm pretty sure we can keep up this super-fast updating for a while. Until then, YOU BETTER REVIEW, OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!**


	4. The Mystery Grows Deeper

_**A/N: And the next chapter appears out of the mist (stage left), and the narrator (stage right), clears his/her throat pointedly and begins:**_

_**HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER. HAPPY!??**_

_**So, yeah. First one with just Neji & Sasuke & all the guys with no girl interaction. And…Cassy helped. A LITTLE. THIS IS STILL MY FIC, DAMMIT!**_

**CASSY: Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that. (Who wrote this entire chapter? I DID.)**

_**You did NOT! You just wrote the freaking dialogue, because I suck at it and you always want to help and—**_

**Just get on with it already!**

_**Disclaimer:**__** I own Naruto like you own this huge bag of cotton candy before me—which is not gonna happen. Any time in this century. Keep dreaming.**_

* * *

_**In which 'The Kakashi Incident' Mystery grows deeper**_

* * *

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

"I REALLY don't understand why you did that."

Neji opened one eye to show that he had broken from his meditative state only to glare at Naruto. The blonde boy was unperturbed, as he had a lot of experience with death glares. Himself, Naruto, and a few other close friends were at Uchiha Sasuke's house to get away from their own estates. At least, that was why Neji always came over. Naruto practically lived there, anyways, Shikamaru probably only came to get away from his girlfriend, and Kiba always seemed to turn up where Naruto was.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?"

He shrugged. "Why did you ask Tenten out on a date?"  
"Because that was the honorable thing to do." It was. When Tenten had told him about her affections in front of all those witnesses, after he had insisted upon it, the only thing to do to was to ask her out on a date. Then he could let her down gently. Closing his eyes, he dropped back to his meditative state, hoping Naruto would go inside and bother Sasuke, or something.

"You do realize she probably only did that to prank you again, right?"

Neji inwardly sighed and opened his eye again, to see Naruto with a serious expression on—a rare event of the ages. "Perhaps that's true," he consented in a mellow voice. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Well? What if she totally embarrasses you in your favorite restaurant?"

"I believe her words are sincere, Naruto-san. Now can you please leave me alone?"

He remembered what had happened earlier that day—Tenten telling him that she had affections for him in front of everyone with a humiliated blush on her face, refusing to meet his eye. He did the right thing. And if it didn't turn out well, then it didn't turn out well.

If she played a prank on him, then it was his stupid fault for falling for it in the first place. That was how Neji saw it.

"Oi, Teme! Get your ass over here!"

Neji suppressed a scowl over the blonde boy's antics. What was he going to do, tell the Uchiha about this?

Apparently, that was exactly what he was planning to do. As soon as Sasuke was in earshot, Naruto continued as if he hadn't waited five minutes for him to get his ass over there. "Did you hear what this stupid-ass did?"

Sasuke, as was usual, avoided the question in particular. "I hadn't known you to be a hypocrite, Naruto."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When you said stupid-ass—never mind, it's not worth mentioning." He sighed and sat down on the patio chair, setting his soda down next to him.

"Urk, teme, you didn't answer my question! Didn't you hear about Neji's date?"

He shrugged. "I heard the girl's stupid proclamation too, dobe. Neji, of course, does the 'honorable thing' and asks her out. Was that what happened?"

"Hey, yeah!" Naruto patted Neji on the shoulder, causing him to scowl. "Poor guy."

"Hn."

Neji started seeing red. "I wouldn't be acting so high and mighty after what happened in Calculus today, Uchiha."

Naruto's head snapped up. Being the less-than-intelligent man he was, he didn't take Calculus with Sasuke. Neji did, though, and was witness to the whole ordeal. Naruto wouldn't have let the piece of gossip like that run away even _if_ Sasuke hadn't turned as white as a ghost, a sure sign he was mortified just by thinking about it. Naruto's responding grin reminded Neji vaguely of a Cheshire cat's.

"What happened?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Hyuuga, don't tell him _any_—"

"Well," Neji started, ignoring the glare the Uchiha was giving him, "in Calculus, there is this girl that sits behind him—"

"_Shut up, _Hyuuga."

"—and apparently she needs glasses, because she couldn't see the board when Kakashi-sensei started writing down the homework—"

"Don't tell him, I swear—"

"So she practically _climbs_ over Sasuke, her hand on his shoulder, leaning over his body so her _ass_ is right next to his face—" Neji was beginning to enjoy himself now…

"If you say _one more word—_"

"—and then she loses her balance, so that her legs are flailing and getting everyone's attention, even Kakashi's, so everyone could see—"

"Shutupshutupshutup—"

"—how her hand went down the front of his pants."

Sasuke glowered at Neji, while Naruto busted out laughing. "Oh Kami, teme, why didn't you _tell _me?"

Sasuke was about to answer, but Neji cut him off yet again. "That's not even the end of it. She stayed in there for a good five seconds—Tenten-san even took a _picture_—and then she sprang right up, red as a beet, as if she just remembered she shouldn't be touching Sasu-chan's _special place._"

"Shut up!"

He continued anyway. "What she never knew about—and what everybody else noticed—was that there was a very distinct _bulge_—"

That was when Sasuke attacked. Neji fell off the patio and into the pool next to it, along with Sasuke, who was attempting to rip out his hair preferably strand by long strand. Naruto was too busy rolling on the floor laughing to notice.

He did manage to speak after a few minutes, though, causing Sasuke to stop his barrage. "You got _horny?_ Over the girl behind you in _Calculus?_ Damn, Sasuke, I didn't know you had taste in _that_. I thought it was that red-haired girl, Karin or something, that had your attention—not some near-sighted _nerdette._"

"Fuck off," he growled. After a moment's pause, he added on, "And I am _not_ interested in Karin. I am simply a friend of her _boyfriend._"

Naruto simply snorted. "Say, what's this girl's name? Maybe I know her!"

Neji answered. "Haruno Sakura; or something along those lines."

Naruto gaped at him. "No _way!"_

Sasuke stared. "Wait. What am I missing?"

"She was part of the _Kakashi Incident!_"

"…The what?"

"Aw, Kami teme, you don't know about the _Kakashi Incident?_ It was only talked about at least a thousand times! Kiba's girl set it all up, remember, to make him stop giving us so much homework? She used Sakura-chan to blackmail him, or something."

"…hn."

Naruto burst out laughing. "Teme, don't you ever listen to _gossip?_ I would have at least thought you would listen to something concerning your _girlfriend…"_

Neji decided that then was the best time to leave, before he himself got sucked into the impending fight before him. On the way, he passed Kiba, who was playing with the large white Malamute crossbreed that had been his partner since he was a child, though the dog's name Neji could never remember. He stopped momentarily, remembering that Naruto had told Sasuke that Yamanaka Ino was his girlfriend, and a conspirator in this 'Kakashi Incident'. Though he was not as stupid enough to admit it as the Uchiha was, he didn't know what the Kakashi Incident was any more than he did. Tapping him lightly on the shoulder, Kiba turned around and gave Neji a rather startled look.

"What is it?"

Neji looked uncomfortable. "You are in a relationship with Yamanaka Ino, are you not?"

Kiba looked wary. "Yes…if this is about not spending time at _her_ place, her parents don't exactly approve of us and—"

"I do not care. I simply wondered if you knew what the 'Kakashi Incident' was."

Kiba looked like he was very close to fainting at the mention of such an incident. He laughed nervously, and said, "Yeah…I know what it is, but I can't exactly tell you anything about it."

Neji frowned. "Why not?"

Kiba coughed. "It's better if you didn't know, trust me. You'll never look at Kakashi-sensei the same way again…"

Neji stiffened, then berated Kiba when he realized what the hidden implication behind those cryptic words were. "Did Kakashi-sensei do anything to those girls that would cause him to get fired?"

Kiba looked like he would rather be anywhere but there. "N-No! I mean, yes…No! Wait, it's no! He didn't do _anything!_"

"Kiba, _tell me the truth!"_ If Kakashi had done anything to molest any one of those poor girls, even Tenten, though Neji doubted she could be put under the same category, he should be fired, and arrested. He needed to know what happened, so he could do the right thing and turn him into the authorities.

"He didn't do anything! Not a single thing, I swear, unless you count reading _porn _in class!"

"…Porn?" That _couldn't_ be allowed. It just couldn't. Neji stalked off, getting into his car with one fluid stride and jamming the key into the ignition. He'd have to do some further investigating, to see if that strange orange book Kakashi carried with him really _was_ porn.

…And also to prepare himself for the horrid date tomorrow night.

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

_**A/N: Next chapter: Neji and Tenten's date. Cassy writes all of this chapter—**_

**CASSY: HELL YEAH! WHO WRITES THE CHAPTER? I DO! I DO!**

—_**and, apparently, is very pleased with it. Let's see what you think.**_


	5. The Date

_**A/N: And as you can see here, this is the fifth chapter of the story, in which Tenten goes on her date with Neji and…well, just read it. You'll catch on.**_

**CASSY: I wrote most of it!**

…_**Uh-huh. Really? No, you didn't. You wrote ALL of it, because I personally don't find Nejiten all that endearing. But it can be incredibly funny, as shown in this chapter. So, you know, read it.**_

* * *

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

* * *

TENTEN really wished that she could somehow disappear.

What on earth was she doing, anyway? Why didn't she just say she caught meningitis, or something? Or said she caught the chicken pox—even more contagious. She thought.

_Too late for that now,_ she thought miserably, sitting across from Neji in a formal restaurant in the first dress she had ever worn (and the last, if she had any say about it), listening to sappy music played by a violin and staring at Hyuuga Neji, who looked, for whatever reason, perfectly at ease. She cleared her throat uneasily.

"So…Neji-san, is there a particular reason why we came here?"

Neji shrugged. "This is the restaurant my family goes to when they have social gatherings. I feel most comfortable here."

_Of course,_ she thought, almost with a bitter edge, _only a rich-boy like Neji would feel comfortable in such an uptight place like this._

Tenten felt like she should continue the conversation, but the only lee-way that Neji gave her was about his family, and she didn't really want to broach that subject. Luckily for her, the waiter, a man donning something that looked like it belonged in a movie featuring a fancy restaurant, came up to their table and said, "May I take your order?" in a very obvious British accent.

"Erm…" Tenten couldn't even read half of the stuff on the menu—they were all in French. Neji cut her off, saving her from completely embarrassing herself. "Two _Truite d'amande_**(1)**_,_ thank you."

"Yes, sir." The waiter responded, bowing slightly before leaving. Immediately, the tension returned, and Tenten squirmed a little in her seat. It didn't feel right, being in a dress—she felt so…unprotected.

Neji seemed perfectly at ease to stay silent. Couldn't he feel how totally embarrassing this situation was? Why was he acting like nothing was wrong?

Finally, she exploded. "Look—this—all of this—is a mistake. I wasn't really feeling good that day I told you—we should just go home and pretend none of this happened."

Neji considered this for a brief second. If she had just let it at that, he probably would have just left. But, unfortunately, she didn't. Being nervous and all, Tenten could have sworn Neji was about to refuse, so she let out a secret that she hoped wouldn't insult him _too _much.

"Besides, I'm not even gay."

Neji stiffened, and Tenten saw his right eye twitch. "What?"

Tenten realized she probably made a very bad faux pas. "W-Well, I'm sorry, but I'm more attracted to _men…_"

"I am a male," he hissed. Tenten tittered a little, fidgeting with her napkin.

"Well, I'm sure you _believe _that, but it's rather obvious—"

He cut her off. "What is it about me? What on _earth _makes you think that I am not a fully heterosexual male?"

"Well," she pointed out in a reasonable voice, "the long hair is a big hint. And the way you walk, like, people who watch you expect to put your hands on your hips and start swinging them seductively, or something."

Neji sputtered in a very un-gentleman like fashion. "I _like _my hair this way, thank you, and the way I walk is _not_ girly!"

"Uh-huh. Just keep telling yourself that if it makes you happy." Calmly, Tenten took a sip of her Coke. Neji nearly gave in to the urge to throw his fork at her head, but luckily the waiter decided to show up (OUT OF FREAKING NOWHERE, WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?) at that moment, holding the platters of their meal with a finesse Tenten didn't even know existed.

"Your orders," he paused, glancing at Tenten, "sir." He placed the platters down and disappeared as quickly as he came. Tenten cut off a bit and sniffed it suspiciously, as if she suspected poison. Neji ignored her, trying to cool down his nerves by taking a bite of his fish and chewing on it slowly, counting back from one hundred while doing so.

The silence came back again. _Ugh._ Frowning, Tenten wondered if cell phones were allowed in this restaurant, or if they'd kick her out if she used anything more modern than a quill and parchment. Shifting a little again, she peeked at her partner, and saw he was staring rather determinedly at his fish.

_Well, it looks like I'm not the only one uncomfortable, am I?_ As the thought ran through the brunette's mind, Neji looked up from his fish to her, as if stealing a glance at her like she was with him. Seeing his impenetrable gaze on her, she quickly looked down, but she could still feel his gaze. _Stop being a coward!_ Looking up, she met his gaze and held it squarely this time.

"So…how is the football team?" Tenten didn't really care; she simply picked a subject at random to ease the stifling silence. Neji gazed at her as if he didn't comprehend the fact that she was speaking to him. Then, as if someone slapped him, he snapped out of it.

"Why do you want to know?"

Tenten shrugged. "I was thinking of signing up, actually." Which was the actual truth—she simply hadn't wanted to do so before simply because of Neji being the co-captain.

Neji scowled at her. "Girls shouldn't play football."

"_You_ play!" This time, Neji was able to control himself enough to simply show his anger through a steely flash of the eyes.

"I _am_ a boy," he hissed back. Tenten shrugged.

"Whatever you say, _Miss._" She felt a surge of satisfaction as she saw Neji's knuckles whiten as his grip tightened around his fork. He stabbed his…_thing…_with a little too much force, as if he were imagining the (was it fish?) meal to be Tenten's head.

"Fine then. Quiz me." **(2)**

The next few hours went by quickly and easily for both of them as they discussed various sports and techniques, and before they knew it, the sky was dark and most of the people in the restaurant had left. Finally, a late-night waiter came to their table and told them that, unfortunately, they were closing and the two had to leave. Tenten, no longer feeling shy or uncomfortable, annoyed the waiter quite thoroughly with her raucous laughter as they walked out. Even Neji seemed a little less tense. The waiter heard a snatch of their conversation as they left.

"I guess I was wrong, Neji."

A pause. Then, "About what? Me being a girl?"

"No, silly." She paused to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "About me being gay."

And even though the waiter couldn't help but feel rather scandalized, he had to admit the two looked pretty good together.

* * *

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

* * *

**A/N: Since Andy didn't write any of this chapter, I get ALL of this space (do I usually get all of this space? Shit), so I use up this space TO COMMAND YOU TO REVIEW THIS RIDICULOUSLY SHORT CHAPTER.**

**Er, yeah, and:**

**1) Almond Trout. Since French happens to be the lessons I'm taking, and Andy happens to live in Canada.**

**2) We'd go into specifics on this part, but I happen to absolutely despise everything about football, and was too proud to ask Andy for help. So, yeah.**


	6. Sasuke's Dilemma

_**A/N: Ohmygod, this thing is SO SHORT. But, like, it's awesome in its own way. (There's slight Sasuke-bashing. And Sasukarin. And SCANDAL!!!) Okay, so yeah, it's only two pages on Microsoft Word, and this is the last complete chapter Cassy and I have completed, but still!...Just read it.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** HERE I GO—I'M GONE—I'M GOING! I'M SO OVER YOU AND I DON'T CARE! DA DA DA DA DA…CUZ I KNOW IF I DO I WON'T MAKE IT! FORGET ME I, WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE—I WON'T LOOK BACK…**_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

SASUKE felt like cursing. Like he did every day at the beginning of Calculus since quite some time.

He felt himself glare at the girl that had just entered the doorway, the girl who was the cause of all this endless misery and spite that had been bestowed upon him, who either didn't notice or had gotten used to it by now, since she didn't even look perturbed as she sat down behind him. Sasuke glowered, hoping to Kami that _today might be the day_ that Kakashi decided to finally switch seats around.

Haruno Sakura started humming. Sasuke wanted to scream. _Why her? Why me?_

He never even really noticed her before _that day. _She was one of the rare few who did not fawn over him as if he were some prize to be won, and was likeable and tolerable to be sitting near. Besides the occasional questions about homework, they had rarely interacted before.

_(Sasuke shuddered as he remembered how Sakura was _before_—before when she was all about 'Sasuke-kun!' 'Sasuke-kun!' and broke a thousand friendships for a pointless pursuit…)_

But now, whenever she was in close proximity to him, he couldn't keep his thoughts off of her. He resisted the urge to pull at his collar _(Is it getting hot in here?)_ and fidget every day in Calculus for the past two weeks. He could no longer pay attention, and his grades suffered for it. But even a humiliating lecture from his father and the rather disappointed looks from his mother and brother couldn't stop the fact that his mind could no longer attack Calculus when his mind immediately shot to the person behind him every day.

He used to never be even able to tell if she wore her hair short or long. Now, he could tell anyone who cared what outfits she wore for the past week, or what kind of perfume she preferred—a floral scent, something with orange blossom and rose or lilac…

Sasuke mentally slapped himself and yelled to pay attention. It did little good, since at that moment, Sakura shifted and Sasuke, as if by instinct, did the same, and immediately his thoughts took a rather dirty turn. This time he literally pinched himself on his thigh, hoping it would help the burning arousal he got every day when she was behind him, and make him stop thinking such sexual fantasies and _pay attention._

It wasn't even just in Calculus that it happened; if they chanced upon passing each other in the halls, his mind would immediately go to her and his thoughts would revolve around her until she was out of sight and he could get his thoughts back. Not only was it annoying, it was disturbing on many levels—but all through Calculus class, he couldn't even hear Kakashi-sensei drone about algorithms behind his mysterious orange book, his mind too riveted on the fact that he could hear her still humming, trying subconsciously to figure out what song was on her mind at the moment. It was all he could do not to turn around in his seat and stare at her.

He hated every minute of it.

Honestly, why did she have to be so damn _clumsy?_ Why did _she,_ of all people, physically attract him? Thoughts like this plagued his mind along with the sexual fantasies for the rest of the period, and when the bell rang, he was, as usual, the first one out. Stuffing his hands in his pockets and mumbling curses, he made his way to P.E., hoping that no one in the locker room would notice how all the blood had rushed to his groin. Unfortunately, something wrapped around his waist and stopped his movement. Even more annoyed in his hot state, he turned around to see a girl's face look up at him, smiling coyly.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun."

"Karin." He acknowledged her with a nod, and tried to move again, but she tightened her arms and stopped him from taking a single step. Sighing, he turned back again to see her with a strange light in her red eyes. "What do you want?"

For a second, she looked genuinely concerned. "You seem strange lately. Is something the matter?"

_Yes! _He wanted to scream. _Yes, something is wrong! I'm going crazy over a girl who doesn't even like me!_ But he remained silent, staring at the redhead with critical eyes. She met his gaze evenly, and a strange light began to glow behind them. She pressed herself even more against his back, and Sasuke felt a tugging at his gut. "Get off me," he growled.

He often told his friends that Karin already had a boyfriend to get them from setting them both up, but it wasn't actually true. Karin was single and had her goals set on Sasuke, who was the last person who would think of dating her. All he wanted to do right now was to pry her off and get to class already, but standing Calculus made him feel oddly weak, and he didn't bother to try.

He flinched slightly when he felt her lips press against his neck—_they were in the middle of a crowded hall, dammit!_ "I think I know what's wrong, Sasuke-kun," she purred, pressing herself, if possible, even closer to his form than before, making him painfully aware of her female assets. He found breathing normally difficult for a few seconds, even more so when he heard her next words—"I think I can _help_, too."

He closed his eyes, trying to tell himself that this was _Karin, _that he had too much pride to be won over like this, but all he could think about was the torture he had been going through and how much of a relief it would be if it would be relieved, if only for a few hours. He felt weird and desperate _(maybe that's why he allowed her to lead him into the nearest broom closet)_, and when she kissed him, his mind curiously thought of the pink-haired girl that sat behind him in Calculus.

Unfortunately, he didn't notice Karin's triumph, or the two shocked faces watching the whole ordeal.

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

**A/N: Wow. (I WROTE SOME OF THIS—not the Sasukarin crap BUT STILL!).**

**I can understand why Andy is a much better writer than me—I would never even think of trying Sasukarin as a serious pairing. Things are gonna get SO crazy. Now—the review button down there?—It needs to be clicked. It's begging you. Do it. Now.**


	7. The Partnership

_**A/N: Well…this took a while to finish. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, WE ALL GET THOSE DAYS. Plus, Fanfiction was being gay and wouldn't let me log on. And Cassy wouldn't finish her part.**_

**Cassy: Hey! Liar!**

_**Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's finished, right? And er, it's short. Get over it.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

HINATA watched, horrified, as the head cheerleader led Sakura's secret crush into the broom closet right across from where she stood, doing exactly what she thought they were doing. Even as the late bell rang, she found herself frozen to the spot across the hall, her pale eyes wide as she tried to comprehend what she just saw. _Sasuke…and Karin? How?_

Swallowing, she realized that staring at the same closet that Sasuke had disappeared into until he came out wasn't the brightest of ideas. Forcing her feet to move, she dashed into the closest empty classroom, all thoughts of getting to her next class all but gone in her mind. She slammed the door closed, trying to calm her thumping heart and her ragged breathing.

Part of her was wondering why she was acting (or _over_reacting) like this. She barely even knew Sasuke, and for all she knew, he went into broom closets to do Kami-knows-what all the time. But from the way Sakura talked about him…she didn't want to know that he already had a girlfriend (or whoever Karin was to him). That would mean she would have to be a good friend and either tell her so she didn't get her hopes up any more, or be a good friend and keep it a secret so Sakura's hopes wouldn't get crushed. She couldn't handle the pressure.

"Did you see that?" Hinata turned around to see another person next to her, looking just as shocked as she was—an emotion not always seen on Uzumaki Naruto's face. Hinata felt the color rush to her face as she continued to stare, which was met by a blank-eyes stare of his own.

"N-Naruto-kun??!!" she squeaked, unconsciously taking a step back to discern this new revelation. She had seen Sasuke and Karin enter the closet together—and so, apparently, had Naruto, by the look on his face.

"Did you see what just happened? In the halls?" His eyes were wide; as if he were willing Hinata to tell him that nothing happened. Silently she nodded, still wondering how this was even possible—she was in a classroom. _Alone with Naruto._ Part of her was thanking Kami-sama and all his greatness, while another was fretting that any minute now, she'd get a nosebleed or faint or do something even more embarrassing right in front of him, because he was Naruto and she was Hinata and that was always how things went for them.

"I-I didn't know S-Sasuke-san and Karin-san w-were dating," she whispered meekly, edging a little away from her companion in hopes to stop hyperventilating. Naruto, as usual, didn't even realize what was going on. A small part of her sighed in disappointment.

The blonde scowled, his face unusually grim. "They aren't. In fact, the bastard doesn't even _like_ that chick, and for good reason. What is he thinking?" Naruto peered through the window just in time to see his friend slip out of the custodian's closet. The girl—she was in his English class, right?—gazed at Sasuke, her eyes half-lidded and her cheeks red. Naruto wondered if she was sick, or something—she was Neji's cousin, and Naruto recalled seeing her the other day…she was red then, too, he supposed. She must have a fever. But then why was she in school all the time if she was sick?

And why did it bother him so much that she was in school sick? She was Neji's cousin, he supposed, and Neji was—sort of—his friend. And the girl was pretty, too, and soft-looking. Fragile.

But that wasn't the problem here. The girl—whose name he had just remembered was _Hinata_, a pretty name—had seen Sasuke walk in a broom closet with a girl Naruto _knew_ Sasuke couldn't even stand, and would probably tell all of her friends and then Sasuke would end up publically embarrassed and his rep would be destroyed. Usually, this would be all fine with Naruto, but he knew of Sasuke's failing grades and he also knew that if anything funny happened—he was pretty sure that getting caught having sex with the head cheerleader in school counted—his father would get him stuck in that icky private school in Oto with that headmaster that had freaked Naruto out. Naruto could not let that happen.

He turned to Hinata. "What you saw—you won't tell anyone, will you?"

The girl's face turned even redder, and Naruto wondered if he should get her to the school nurse. When she spoke, it was a faint squeak. "N-N-No, of c-c-course not. I-I won't t-tell. I-It's not my b-business."

Naruto turned his head and watched as the girl finally emerged, still readjusting her clothes and brushing off dust. Naruto didn't know Karin very well, but he knew her well enough to know that now that Sasuke did something with her, she wouldn't let go of him anytime soon. She had her claws sunk into them, and until Sasuke could shake himself free, this whole thing needed to stay on the DL.

He couldn't do it on his own—Naruto knew he could get a lot of things done when he put his mind to it, but he also had the sense to know that he couldn't be everywhere at once. He didn't have all classes with Sasuke, and he couldn't follow the bastard around all day just to make sure he doesn't get jumped publically. He turned to Hinata, sizing her up. She was small and shy, but she could blend in a crowd easily and wouldn't get noticed as well as he would. She seemed to have a good heart, too. He decided to recruit her.

"Hey, Hina, can you make sure no one finds out about this?"

Hinata turned her head to Naruto so fast he was sure she got whiplash. "W-W-W-What?" she squeaked, stepping back a bit. Naruto didn't really notice how her breathing got all shallow.

"Listen, I think this sort of thing is gonna happen again. We need to make sure this doesn't become some full-blown scandal. Can you help?"

Hinata thought about it. She didn't really know Sasuke, but from the small conversations she had with him over the years, she could tell he wasn't the sort of person she'd be friends with at all. But Sakura liked him a lot, and she didn't want her friend hurt. Plus, it was _Naruto_ who was asking her. They would be partners!

"A-Alright." Hinata remembered being swept up into a hug by Uzumaki Naruto before passing out.

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

**A/N: And the plot thickens. Ish. (Don't expect another update anytime soon, btw. Andy has some sort of weird thing that SHE'S NOT TELLING ME ABOUT going on, and I do have other stories I need to juggle around.)**

**-Sighs-. Anyway. Please review!**


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